elly.org / journals

February, 2008

February 2, 2008 - 6:25pm

today so far

wake up hungover.it's raining.
roll over onto my side in bed and lay my limbs across each other like a drawing of a sleeping dog i saw in a book as a kid.
feel low, don't want to move, know it's all bullshit chemicals from champagne overindulgence last night.
get up, get water, pee, feed yoko who is mewling, have to stop to bend over and hold my pounding head.
check phone. tons of twitter messages. lots of them seem related to getting out the vote for obama this weekend.
get in bed with laptop. whine into icb, where my drinking cohorts from last night are also complaining of their hangovers.
talk to jarett on aim.
lay. lay. lay.
yoko lays on me in various configurations, stretching her paws across my forearm at one point. she seems to be judging me, but only mildly.
finally force myself up, 3pm. arrange my outfit around my rainboots.
text from tamera summoning me across the street, but head hurts too bad so i go to st francis and eat greasy things. a dad comes in with his daughter and buys her a banana split. she squirms on the stool next to me as it is made, trying to see the part where they pour the hot fudge on. as the food repairs my cognitive faculties i'm able to have the vicarious blissful experience of being six and having a banana split.
it's raining still, and out the window san francisco is starting to do that thing where everything looks so much brighter against the gloom.
head home in the rain. stop by millionfishes where tamera is scrubbing things like cinderella in preparation for soft monkey puzzles art opening tonight. she explains a thought loop she's having to me. i don't have a why for her.
go get my camera, take a picture of a broken chair in the rain.
jarett calls, we discuss blake nelson at length.
retire to the coffee shop.
that's it so far.


February 12, 2008 - 7:31pm

relations.

my roommate, yoko, and i are having a fight. she wants food and she wants attention but she doesn't know how to express her needs with maturity and decorum. so, she claws my legs while i'm trying to work. then i yell HEY, HEEEEYYYYYY at the top of my lungs and chase her about. then she looks at me reproachfully. then i give her some of my tuna anyway.
life.

it's fucking sunny in san francisco. i'm motivated to make various art in my apartment but i've got a ton of work to do so i'm chained to my desk. i never leave the mission, except last week to go to los angeles. i have a dream that once the most recent www project has launched i will start going to north beach during the days, and establish a pattern of cafe sitting and writing there like it's my goddamn job, but to be honest with you, internet, i kind of think that can't even happen till i can get up a little earlier than 2pm on any given day.

also, i need to be realistic with myself about how many hours a day i need to be continually working to maintain my freelancer lifestyle. i think it's a fair amount of hours.

what else.

i am about to get a big tattoo on my upper back, which will nudge me over the edge from being mildly tattoo'd to really f'in tattoo'd.

i'm getting into doing astrology again. very comforted by the stack of ephemerides and liz greene books next to my right arm while i type this.

i'm trying to determine what the right balance of structure and bohemia is for me.

EFF got me an ipod for a going away present and it's making me really happy. i haven't had an ipod since like 2002 or something. it's gorgeous.

ok!


February 15, 2008 - 2:38am

the best times

lately, at night, i often find myself journaling at length, typing till it feels like pouring liquid into a container. and most of the time i look up from that pursuit, usually quite a few paragraphs in, and realize that these moments are the best fucking moments of my life. love is beautiful, other people are beautiful, but the moments of communicating with yourself in total complete acceptance and peace may actually be the most beautiful of all. people come and go, and for this i can't fault them, but, i am always here.
...

she said you been gone
i said that's only natural


February 20, 2008 - 3:34am

more good times

2am or so is about walking around my place picking up books and reading a couple of pages of them, getting really inspired for a second, then getting distracted. if you come over, you can do this too. we don't have to talk.


February 21, 2008 - 2:57am

eclipse

was walking down 18th or was it 19th when i looked up and saw the rising moon, yellow and huge, hovering over the mission, like it will do, except a large chunk of it was missing, eaten by the gods of the sky. i called you, and you, and you, and you, but stood watching alone, corner of 19th and south van ness, the whiz burger glowing at my back, all surroundings familiar. holding hands with san francisco.
was contentedly resigned to an evening of watching myself experience the vague loneliness i'd begun to foster around 8pm or so, but managed to put on eyeliner and follow tamera and her amazing warm sweet smell into oakland. once there, in a tidy and welcoming warehouse home to many, we shared a big white armchair that had "nothing lasts forever" embroidered into its cushion. and we watched and heard kimya dawson sing to tiny crowd of friends. i felt so grateful and happy she exists.

somehow we ended up dumpster diving the semifreddi's oakland dumpster and now i have a lot of bread. i think i might try to make a huge vat of bread pudding, even though it's not brioche, it might work, right?

it's been 6 months since i arrived home from india.


February 27, 2008 - 12:09am

great moments in font humor


[23:07] <wb> jim did you watch the "helvetica" movie yet
[23:08] <jh> I didn't
[23:08] <jh> NO SPOILERS
[23:08] <jh> (he gets italicized in the end)
[23:08] <wb> ok i wont tell you what font they use for the titles


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