experiencing the INCREDIBLE joyof the people in my life and how just totally totally fucking awesome they are
and the neighborhood i live in, and the true deep actual connection i have to it
last night i walked home from my haircut, in the rain, across the mission from the lower haight.
in the "winter" especially, wandering the streets of the mission, it really is just SUCH a love fest from me to the streets. i have this experience that i associate with the sign of taurus and venus: using your eyes to look upon things and having everything you see be so intricate, so detailed, so perfect. i'm walking and every fucking building, every goddamn crack in the sidewalk, the sky, the trees, everything, is just so noticable. everything feels lush and i feel totally held.
my old therapist once asked me what i consider home and what makes me feel safest and i answered, the streets of this city.
was saying today that after nearly ten years of "searching" for something i could call my commune, searching for some kind of warehouse, or a campus somewhere populated with People Like Me, or something, i look up and realize that it's all been given to me. in my neighborhood, my friends, san francisco. yes, somehow, all this is mine. and sutro tower blinks, seemingly benevolently, against crazy pink november sky.
and, two things.
tamera told me about derive, which seemed to just be about a surrealist amble, and that seems like, super intensely related to me. i hadn't associated it with psychogeography till just now which TOTALLY makes it better.
and, i want desperately to buy antlers, attach some kind of lights or stars or lights in stars to them, and figure out some way to wear them on my head. it MUST be possible.
and, so much else. so much else.
