it was very warm today. i stayed up too late last night doing what i was doing just a few minutes ago, too - reading my old journal entries. i was just reading some of oliver's old ones too.
when oliver and i broke up in late 2005 and got back together some 5 months later, our relationship was actually entirely different. it's very weird to look back on the notes from our initial courtship in 2003, because the relationship that was created from that courtship is almost completely gone. sometimes it makes me sad. we were very romantic then. but, i think we needed to firebomb everything, even the intense good stuff, so that we could be together without the bad stuff we'd built up from then. now we have this whole stable thing going. but now that every fuckin planet this side of jupiter is in scorpio i feel a little bit skeptical of the stability thing.

ahh yeah that's right, mercury goes retrograde in a day. time to reconsider the past.

oh anyway, what i came here to tell you about was that after i stayed up too late i had to get up for an 11am meeting (crazy, i know), so i ended up only getting three hours sleep. after my meeting and some work, i went to a late lunch at universal cafe, which was fucking amazing. i read cosmos and psyche and was really intensely understanding the point richard tarnas was making about how amazing of a *spiritual* shift the copernican worldview must have been. and i was somehow able to grasp, though he never directly said it, how in a way the discovery of the heliocentric cosmology serves also as the discovery of the solar archetype in western astrology. the story of that time, and those discoveries, defines how astrologers would later characterize the meaning of the sun in the astrological chart.

then, i went home and worked some more, then got frustrated with work and gave up and had a nap.

then one of my favorite things happened, which is that i woke up from my nap feeling so independent and free and happy. i love the sensation of waking up alone with no particular obligation and no person waiting on you. it could be that the nap itself wasn't even the key to this evenings subsequential joy, but it was simply the sensation of waking up of my own accord with no place to be.

i wandered into the balmy night, down to atlas cafe, where it was bluegrass night! after living here two years and stumbling upon bluegrass at atlas in this way a few times, it was such a familiar comforting feeling to stumble upon it again. i stood drinking a small coffee and trying to count all the kinds of stringed insruments involved in the jam session, and sending text messages to people that i was missing.

then i went over to the j&b club, where a nice old latina lady named marta makes food. she wears many rings. you have to go back to the kitchen and say hi to her to get her to come take your order. i had delicious tacos.

then oofie and oliver came home all perky from dinner and i was all giggly from coffee and naps, and we caroused a bit, and oliver and i discussed land and yurts, and read about composting toilets.

i will shower before bed.

i can hear oofie snoozin'.